Warning: This article includes topics on self-harm and suicide.
It’s time for the real talk regarding cybersecurity. In today’s digital landscape, our children meet with a wild and sometimes unreliable space filled with online threats, harmful content, and dangers. These are everywhere on the Internet, starting from social media platforms, to just about any website or online game and even private messaging. It is crucial for us, parents, to acknowledge this fact so, with a little guidance and a lot of vigilance, we can arm ourselves and our kids with the tools we need to stay as safe and secure in the digital world as one can be.
Why Should Parents Pay Attention to Cybersecurity in the First Place?
Well, picture this: your child is innocently browsing the web on their smartphone or tablet when suddenly they stumble upon a website or app that’s not exactly kid-friendly. From explicit content and cyberbullying to online predators and phishing scams, the dangers are real and all too common in the vast expanse of the internet. They might feel weird, shocked and even scared about it. May the content be outrageous – which is not unrealistic – and they can be deeply traumatized.
Today we’ll dive deeper into the act of cyberbullying along with possible outcomes of it and ways for your family to defend it as well as you can.
Cyberbullying
Cyberbullying is a form of bullying that happens online. From what you can tell about the Internet is that it’s a wild place where numerous things can be found that you wouldn’t necessarily find in your non-digital proximity.
The same is true when it comes to online bullies: they can be wilder, meaner, more evil and more harmful too. This is due to the fact that people hide behind their screens in this scenario. Cyberbullying causes different kinds of physical and psychological effects on children. This ranges from stress to anxiety, depression, and panic attacks and, in some cases, results in self-harm or suicide.
“Globally, 1 in 3 children report experiencing online bullying. In 2020, 33 % of girls and 20 % of boys in Europe reported experiencing disturbing content online at least once a month.” [1]
Facebook is the leading social media platform in terms of online cyberbullying, accounting for 75% of cyberbullying incidents, while other apps like Twitter and Instagram together account for 24%. [2]
It’s a known fact that these platforms welcome users from the age of 13, but according to Parent ProTech “40% of kids age 8-12 are on social media regardless of age limitations”. This happens because it’s quite easy to jump over the age question with a lie. The age limitation was introduced in order to keep children away from aspects such as cyberbullying. I wouldn’t state that teenagers, older than 13 years old, are prepared mentally and emotionally for it either. They might have more experience on what to believe or not, but that isn’t the full-spectrum defence system at all. I strongly believe that allowing social media registration should be the parents’ decision when they see their child fit for it.
Before that decision comes the education which prepares them as well as possible.
What Can You Do About Cyberbullying?
Discuss & Educate
The idea is not to cross cyberbullying out completely, because, unfortunately, we can’t do that in today’s cruel world. It is to focus on your child and equip them with whatever they need to either avoid or not get affected by it.
This starts with conversations within the family. Discussing even the existence of mean people on the Internet is a start. Include all you know about fakeness and how these bullies will try to contact and harm them with their words and images. You have to establish a connection with them so they know they can turn to you, should the bullying happen. They don’t have to fight them because they can’t. They don’t have to do anything with them, they just have to call for help, especially if they experienced something that upset them.
So, first of all, our children have to know they are not alone in experiencing cyberbullying online. Secondly, they have to feel at ease about calling for help about it, whatever the subject or theme of the bullying is.
Sometimes, a child is unable to ask for help because they’re ashamed of what the bully is holding against them. This might be the hardest barrier to break down, but it’s important to do so. Talking through some personal experiences might build some trust around the topic. If you don’t have any of your own, discuss any story you know about. Once a person knows they are not alone, a huge stressor is out and a solution can be found together.
Secure Their Devices
Depending on your child’s age, you have some kid-friendly smartphone options out there to choose from. Starting from parental control applications and web-filtering features to entire OS systems built for children that have a secure approach to what they can reach on the web. Choose what’s best for your circumstances and build the walls around your kids’ devices.
Once the uncertain territory is blocked out from their phones, the risk is minimized too.
Seek Professional Help
If you feel the situation has escalated over your powers or knowledge – even if you’re unsure whether it has or not – or you sense that your child is not telling it all, seek out a professional.
It’s important to realize we might not always know perfectly what to do, but we always know where to go for help. This will teach your child it’s fine to ask for it. It might also help them to open up about a topic they feel insecure about in front of you.
If the damage has been done already there is great chance of overcoming it if one acts as quickly as possible.
What Else?
If you’d like to go a step or two further, you have the options. You can report the bullies. Social media platforms have the option to block or report people. Don’t be shy to use these features and teach your child to do the same. It won’t stop them but might slow them down or turn them away.
If you feel like you have the energy to go even further, raising awareness in your child’s school is also an important step. Talk with fellow parents and teachers. Discuss how children use the Internet, what are some ground rules in the school and how you can spot the dangers together better.
I would advise you to keep calm when it comes to the school discussions. On many occasions, if cyberbullying happens in schools, parents tend to blame the teachers, and vica versa, while – most probably – it’s not the teachers’ nor parents’ fault. Teachers would want to eliminate bullying just as much as you do but don’t have the tools to do so. So no blaming but cooperation. This is a fight we must fight together.
And Here’s The Twist
The real talk includes the realest of it all: what if your child is the bully? Let’s discuss it without judgment so you can cut it short and heal your child appropriately.
If you sense the possibility that your child is bullying others online – or offline – you are responsible for helping your child, therefore the bullied children as well. The first step is to acknowledge the facts and shift your focus from your feelings about the realization to your child’s feelings and to those your child might have hurt. From there, the key to the solution is in your hand. You can do it!
You have to know that not all bullies are bad people. Some only behave wrongly because they are under too much pressure. Perhaps they have been bullied themselves. Others do it for attention or because of fear. Plenty of psychological situations could be underneath a child’s wrong behaviour, and you can find it and help them through it. Here is how:
- Don’t hesitate to get professional help if you think this is what your family is going through.
- Talk it through. Let them know what they are doing is hurting others and has to stop, but without judgment, open to any underlying message they might share. Be patient here. Children aren’t exactly attuned to their feelings. If you sense that your child does not understand the depth of their actions, try sharing a story where you have been bullied and what it caused in you, if you have such a memory.
- Set boundaries. It might be the trickiest part when you are faced with misbehaviour, and you have to draw the line in a way it remains there. Let your child know when, how and with whom they can interact with online. Encourage them to show empathy and kindness in all kinds of communications.
- If you sense your child is bullying because of attention seeking or fear of not blending in a certain group, you have to assess this emotion in order to cross out the bullying itself. There is always a driving force to wrong behaviour, you just have to find where it comes from and heal it together.
In conclusion, cyberbullying is a pervasive issue with real and lasting consequences for our children. It’s imperative for parents to stay informed, communicate openly, and take proactive steps to protect their children in the digital world. By fostering a supportive environment, setting clear boundaries, and seeking professional help when needed, we can empower our children to act with kindness, confidence and resilience when they go online. Let’s work together towards creating a safer and more positive online environment for all children to thrive in. Our children’s safety and well-being are worth every effort, and by taking action, we can make a difference.
Statistics sources
[2] https://www.cloudwards.net/cyberbullying-statistics/#Sources