I read a discussion on Threads between two seemingly “innocent” parents debating how many photos it’s appropriate to share of children and why one or the other was doing it wrong. This wasn’t the first time I came across such a debate. While the topic is undeniably relevant today, the fact that a mom blogger viciously attacks another parent with a different viewpoint only adds fuel to the original issue: that the information we share online might endanger our children.
However, this article won’t focus on the latter but rather the former topic, because I see that we’re still trying to “solve” this issue the wrong way.
Let’s start here:
IF YOU ATTACK THE PARENT, IT’S NOT CHILD PROTECTION!
Even if you claim that’s your goal. Blaming a parent for sharing a photo of their child doesn’t make children safer. Instead, when you post from a supposed moral high ground, criticizing others under the guise of wanting the best for all kids, what you’re actually doing is undermining others to elevate yourself in the eyes of online viewers. That’s not okay.
What distinguishes effective activism from attention-seeking?
It’s a fair question, as the difference isn’t always obvious at first glance. But the answer is simple: examine the strategy behind the voice claiming to solve the issue.
- If there’s no strategy, the answer is clear: it’s attention-seeking (even if the person is a well-known blogger).
- If the “strategy” is just loudly pointing out what others are doing wrong, it’s the same, only with added context.
- If the person raises awareness and offers solutions, then the conversation has validity.
What’s the long-term impact of shaming parents this way?
The conflict and humiliation won’t achieve what we all supposedly want: the safety of children. Attacking one another over differing perspectives only increases societal polarization, making it harder to fight the real enemy. Instead of coming together to address the issue, we end up further divided and therefore weaker.
This approach also breeds mistrust and causes people to withdraw, moving us even further from solutions.
So, what’s the solution?
There are three main avenues we should pursue. Let’s start by framing the current approach in a more constructive way:
- Educate parents, families, teachers, etc.
- Fortunately, this is already gaining traction. Increasingly, we have access to information about safe online behaviour that protects us and our loved ones in the long term.
- If you’re advocating for child protection, there are countless appropriate ways to do so without resorting to vicious criticism. Respectful, calm discourse and informative communication are key. Behave online as you would in real life.
- You can take it a step further by respectfully helping others understand the risks and encouraging awareness where needed. Replace ego-driven behaviour with solution-focused, selfless support.
- Teach our children.
- Internet and data-related education should start from a young age as part of everyday conversations.
- This doesn’t mean giving children access to devices too early. Smart devices and internet access should only be provided to kids who are ready, which varies for each child and doesn’t always align with the recommended age. By the time they’re allowed online, they should understand the associated risks, what they might encounter, and whom to turn to if they need help.
- Direct our anger and frustration at the perpetrators, not other parents, and channel our energy into combating them!
- This is perhaps the most important point. It’s not enough to tell parents to be cautious or teach kids to speak up if something unsettling happens online. The real challenge lies in actively addressing the perpetrators.
How can we reduce the danger?
To avoid misunderstandings: I’m not claiming this is a fully developed plan. If it were, we wouldn’t need to have this discussion because it would already be working. But here are some tangible ideas for achieving this goal. These aren’t easy solutions, but they’re the right and necessary ones.
Involving Experts
Engaging experts is essential. Most of us aren’t equipped to confront cybercriminals, and tackling these issues alone is unrealistic. Collaboration is key.
- Hackers and cybersecurity experts
- Cybersecurity professionals with the skills to trace and combat cybercriminals could be invaluable in protecting families. A platform accessible to parents, offering quick support from experts, would be a huge step forward. However, trust and collaboration are crucial for this to work.
- Challenges like funding and availability would need addressing, but starting the conversation is vital.
- Lawyers
- Understanding the legal framework for online protection is critical. Lawyers can ensure that all actions comply with the law and help avoid legal pitfalls.
- Psychologists and mental health professionals
- Online dangers, bullying, and attacks can deeply impact mental health, even if they seem trivial initially. Normalize seeking psychological support when needed and encourage children to turn to parents and health professionals about it. If the situation requires, don’t hesitate to involve professionals to prevent lasting trauma.
Involving Authorities
- Criminal investigations
- It is essential for families affected by online crimes to know how to report these incidents effectively. In such cases, time is a critical factor, making efficient communication channels vital. Parents must have access to clear guidelines on what evidence they need to collect to help authorities act promptly. Providing explicit instructions on this process can significantly improve the likelihood of a successful outcome.
- Addressing Fear of Authority Involvement
- A common but often unspoken issue is the hesitation many feel about approaching law enforcement for help. This reluctance can stem from prior unsuccessful experiences, feelings of humiliation, or the challenge of dealing with sensitive information. Based on personal experience, I can attest that these collaborations do not always go smoothly and require improvement to ensure that everyone feels confident about reaching out to the appropriate channels.
- Despite these challenges, law enforcement often holds solutions and tools that are not available elsewhere. Building trust and creating a more transparent system could encourage more people to seek the assistance they need without fear of judgment or failure.
Online child protection is a collective responsibility. Attacking one another diverts attention from the core issue. Instead, we need constructive, solution-oriented strategies that involve parents, experts, and authorities working together. The goal isn’t individual heroics but a united effort to create a safer future for our children.