… why do I keep posting about personal stuff while advocating cybersecurity?

It’s one of my many controversies that just makes a lot of sense. To me. I don’t usually talk about myself here on CyberMomNet unless it’s for educational purposes. Pardon me for putting myself in the centre for this occasion, I promise you will understand why I did it, and maybe – perhaps – you’ll find some inspiration here on how to live a truly authentic lifestyle and how to maintain your true self while serving others – as in, keeping your family safe. This will be fun.

So I am an advocate for conscious and mindful digital parenting and being safe online surfers. I’m all about cybersecurity and a fan of building the family’s safety net. So why do I share “so much” online when it’s so dangerous? I break down what the “rulebook” of cybersecurity recommends and how I do things around here.

The Rulebook of Cybersecurity for Families

There is absolutely no such thing, but based on the safety recommendations we should do to be the safest online, let’s create one, shall we?

Rule #1: Cybersecurity Education

1. Establish clear cybersecurity rules for the household and lead by example.
2. Teach your child about online safety and healthy device usage.
3. Stay informed and talk about the latest trends and threats.

Rule #2: Device Security

1. Secure all devices with firewalls, antivirus software, VPNs and the latest security features.
2. Keep your operating systems, software and firmware up to date.
3. Use strong passwords, and multi-factor or biometric authentications everywhere. Also, manage your passwords securely.

Rule #3: Safe Internet Practices

1. Use the safest browsers and websites and only with the https protocol.
2. Learn about and identify phishing emails, fake websites and online scams.
3. Use the highest amount of privacy settings and mindful sharing when it comes to social media or other content-sharing platforms.

Rule #4: Data Privacy

1. Understand how data works and how to keep it safe.
2. Occasionally review and manage app and website permissions to keep them out of places they shouldn’t access – such as your photos, messaging apps, personal details etc.
3. Keep your most personal information (addresses, bank account details, passwords, security settings etc.) secure at all times.

Rule #5: Digital Etiquette

1. Measure and manage your digital footprint, keeping it at a minimum.
2. Only engage in respectful online communication and beware of cyberbullying, stopping it when occurs.
3. Balance online and offline activities with screen time limits and promote a healthy lifestyle.

Rule #6: Parental Controls and Monitoring

1. Use parental controls and content monitoring on devices and apps to restrict inappropriate content – as your child’s age dictates.
2. Create an environment where your child feels comfortable discussing their online experiences.

Rule #7: Incident Response

1. Plan the steps you have to take if a device is compromised or personal information is stolen. Talk about the said plan with the whole family.
2. Report cybercrime and online harassment.
3. Keep backups to recover from cyber incidents.
4. Support family members who were affected.

This above is a great rulebase around cybersecurity. You might notice that it doesn’t involve anything about deleting your accounts or throwing your devices out the window. (This latter is actually more dangerous than many cybercrimes. An electronic device hitting someone in the head can cause severe damage.)

Jokes aside, cybersecurity is not an activist movement against technology. On the contrary. It very much appreciates high-tech gadgets and innovative solutions, promoting the safe use of them at the same time.

“Rules are meant to be broken.”

No, not that cliché…

I’m just kidding. When it comes to cybersecurity, rules shouldn’t be broken. So why do I share, then? Because of this simple truth… How should put it…?

Because I want to.

I love writing, making art, sharing experiences and, above all, sharing what I’m proud of. I strongly believe we must live like that: in communities – may they be online or offline – sharing our adventures with each other. That’s life after all. Being alone with it all won’t make much sense with all the treasures we are and create.

So I enjoy sharing and I believe I have my own right to do so. I’m also on a mission to find true freedom and teach that to my children. One part of that is broadening my atmosphere with my online presence. Both learning from and sharing with people around the world.

Being afraid and acting differently because of online dangers is not something I enjoy, nor do I want to delete myself from the cyber space because of it. So I combined my rules with the one above, creating our family’s realistic rulebook.

(This is not a rulebook to follow but a suggestion and baseline for inspiration if you’d like to create your family’s depending on your lifestyle choices and circumstances.)

Rule #8: Education with a spin

I follow all educational rules and paths to teach my kids appropriate device safety and online behaviour because I find that’s the most crucial one. With one spin on the idea: I keep it as magical as I can. As I said, high-tech gadgets and innovative solutions… They also come with the adventures of the power of AI, the variety and colours of gaming and, more importantly, the opportunity for not-su-dull education.

So I apply this rule to keep technology interesting for them. I hope, this way, they’ll learn to use them to their benefit and learn to look for the hidden aspects, the magic, the opportunities. These are tools. Shouldn’t be mistaken for more. I just want them to be truly useful for us.

And I know that…

• Social media in itself won’t do the trick. But sharing art on and getting inspired by social media will.
• Casually playing online is not a grand thing, but letting them know how I learnt an entire language by gaming is. They are already looking forward to learning English to do the same…
• Browsing endlessly on weird sites is pointless, but diving deep into the world of our interest, such as one night when I was up until morning to learn everything there is to learn about Hungarian architecture was a true flow moment…
• Talking to friends and family is – thankfully – kind of a given, but getting instant support from them is another level of community life.

And the list goes on…

Rule #9: Live a little

With all that said, I won’t stand in the way of fun, so after looking out for my loved ones, I let them enjoy themselves. Once they know what they can do while playing with a game on my phone, for example, I let them play with it. Of course, I’ll check on them (for now), to make sure nothing weird goes on. But I can’t teach them digital resiliency if I don’t give them the opportunity to learn on their own sometimes.

My kids are still small, they don’t have their own devices. It’s my mission to get them there, by teaching them the dangers and how to behave and act with said devices once they receive their first ones. It’s also my mission to show them how to enjoy these devices and online learning aspects.

I also don’t want them to land on my Instagram profile in a couple of years – if we’ll still have Instagram – and find their mom showing her life…without them. My life is very much about them. Of course, I have my own world with my ideas, my art and my interests, which are out there, but they are a crucial part of my life. I don’t think I have to explain, you get it. I just have to make sure everything I share about them is something they would approve of.

It was Asia Suler who put it so beautifully in one of her posts:

“There are a million reasons why mothers send you photos of their children.

But mostly it comes down to the one thing we need everyone in our lives to understand.

This. This is what I’m doing with my life.

This. This is what is so important I’ve given up so much else.

This.

Without knowing this, you cannot know me anymore.

So, this.

I want you to see this.

Because just by you seeing it, I feel seen.”